Balancing Act

“What is joy without sorrow? What is success without failure? What is a win without a loss? What is health without illness? You have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. There is always going to be suffering. It’s how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you.” ― Mark Twain

            Grades are in, and initially my feeling toward the 3.49 GPA was one of shame.  It’s not because it’s a poor grade point average, because clearly a three point anything is respectable.  I felt shame because I know that I could have done better.  This feeling is similar to when you set out with a finish time in mind and you end up running well, but not well enough to acquire your goal time.  I ultimately had to check myself, because the more I dwelled upon my GPA I started reminding myself of my negative, no good father, who had nothing positive to say towards me ever.

            I had to rewind back to the beginning of this semester, to get a clear reminder.  See this was my first semester at West Chester and I wasn’t handling the transition very well.  And no it wasn’t the commute!  I know many of you expressed concern about the hour drive from home to school, but I’ve been driving for FedEx for nine years now, so driving really doesn’t impact me like it does others.  The transition was tough because I felt like an outcast, or the way I put it I was the smelly kid in class.  The reason for this is because when I was at Bucks County Community College I was welcomed by my fellow students, but not at West Chester.

           

            West Chester was the “big leagues” and not only did my age factor in here, but I also had the dreaded “commuter” title.  The students in my classes initially didn’t want anything to do with me especially if it was a group project of some sort.  This made for an awfully tough transition.  This lasted up until midterms, when the students started to see past my age and my campus status.  The ole CT charm started to light up the rooms I was in…If you know me I’m not much of a charmer per se, but something changed their minds, because all of a sudden I was welcomed.

            Another factor (and I’m not making excuses, because I made the bed I lie in), that I considered was the fact that I have a lot going on in my life.  I thrive to be the best husband I can be, a great friend, and a helpful coach, not to mention I’m doing the best I can with being the President of the Bucks County Speedsters, while putting together races (the Looney Leprechaun was in full motion at the start of this semester), supporting my members in all that they require from me and the club, oh and did I mention I still have a job delivering First Overnight packages throughout North East Philadelphia and Bucks County. 

            I work hard, maybe too hard at times so there is no reason for me to be equally hard on myself.  I know I could have done better this semester, but come on this is reality and I’m not a twenty-year-old kid anymore.  I have to remind myself that I’m taking on a lot of stuff here and if the GPA slips a tad because of it, well so be it.  My education is extremely important don’t get it twisted, but I’m in a place in my life where everything is of importance.

Till we run into each other again…